Cheap talk and scribbles.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

baby we're stuck with each stuck in love with each toher..tts e song tts playin in my bgrd as i type away!I been addicted to HOLLY WOULD DREAM!!darn nice!!Reminds me of my self and yeah basically its the books that been by me for this few days really nice!Oh vish is back!!whow nice pics posted on fb i must add she n her gf really had e time of their life!Beautiful mother nature underneath those surface of ripples!Like another world out there!Like my lil mermaid's princess world!haha beautiful!Btw ma kidneys hurt leik siao after days of not shitting !!I jus came in and dalilah walked in with a big smile and i just turned and looked Okay BIG BRIGHT SMILE n then i looked at her n i looked awae!lolz I can survive wo any1 i been doing good without CK!i havent really spoke to vish about it one reason why is shes jus V V happy and i relali want her to be happy i dont think its fair to talk abt sad stuff to someone tts happy u noe tt happi glow which i wan her to have 4ever!So yaeh infact i dont know why..initially i was wiaitn for her to tell her a-z abt it all n then once she was jus happily typin awae i had no heart to talk abt me n ma nonsense!Infact i doubt i would!i duno la i believe in others being happi more imtp than maself!strangely!Well i have my book with me!Isnt tt awesome!HAHA ma books like my friend at this moment!Something i divert awae to !Fullstop!even lastnigth i left msn and i just read my book and slept ahha i told you the book rox!!i am gona carry on borrowing books!I dont know la lifes awesome!I jus wana GO to some resort with ma parents and chill jus us u noe or ma pals haiz i been itching to go KL even if its alone!I would go!cos I jus wana !!haha alone is good!Really yest i went alone to town to get e dvd for ma next week event!ate alone in tt veg restaruant jus stared and thought abt things to maself!n then jus went walking alone bought the stuff and came back to office!Well what sux is i got rejected by my job which i really spent alot of cash and effort into.n then Ma bf thinks its a joke when i said stop contactin ur ex!!3rd ma good pal dil jus went off d limits...i duno la i duno if i m supposed to b stronger at a moment like tis!Bt yeah i guess i duno la ...Its come to ma thoughts that i tink abt myself alone in some nice laid back country reading a book and enjoyin my long bus rides with my mp3 plugged!ahhaha i dont picture myself with a bf or husband or anyone u noe!I just feel like haiz!duno!!iTS hard tokin to sum1 u tink u share a future with when the person doenst take u seriously!I m preety lost infact avoiding alot of stuff but i told maself its okay life still goes on with or wo such pple!i m sure swami dint wan me to get e job for a reason!K i m not tryin to b a sour grape i swear!But mayb this place sppa realli needs me?i really duno how else to tink!i duno if i made a blooper in ma career by joinin a VWO but yeah!oh well at this moment its just beautifully raining outside and i am jus typing away with music on my bgrd like a backdrop off sum fairytale...hahah as stupit as i sound!Anywae havent met ck in a bit i cant b bothered!She also is fileld with pals ard her so its ok i m good!even if i dun have any1 to meet i m gona claim to meet sum1 cos i duno if Ck is sum1 i realli wana b with ..a liar...a person who lauffs when i mean wat i am saying and i m sad abt it..i duno how else to describe..And her default sentance back to counter attack me is shes e best for me and u noe what i say aint u ashamed..SO what if u spend on me!Afterall u lie alot tts not wat i need.Well what i need is courage to move on..Jus liek RACHEL BILSON IN OC!!seth cohen!!ARGhh n serena williamz iN gossip girls n LAUREN conrad in laguna beach .i need to find ma own life sumthin tt dusnt ride on sum1else and i gta break the chain of bullshit love!mayb datin sum1 younger isnt wat is it for me!I dun even mind datin abutch n goin thrugh no marridge bt no pt if e person is jus a liar time after time!JUS makes me wonder !!How many time can sum1 4give!I duno i m tryin to break e chain of being with someone..cos its a habit to be with sum1 but i have to break it somehow!for e best of me!i cant kp waitin on someone and waitin HOURS N HOURS for some1!Its time sum1 jus took me seriously!oh well or more leik its jus time i was on ma own!iluv being alone strangely at least when m upset i enjoy it!Like no CK no drama!No fakeness!No pt if u can give me all bt u break ma trust!TTS not what i call e best for me i m sure i can find mani toehrts beta bt u noe wat ma point is not eeven to find sum1 beta bt to live a good life for maseelf!I been always astin ma time tryin to find a reason WHy this why that!Mayb i shudnt and jus live it fulfillingly AND wittily!I duno this phase taught me something i just hope to bring it along in life !!cHEERS!

19:19