We spoke and we spoke last night,and the convo continued on today.After much discussion on how she finds it hard to feel interested in sum1 like me i made the move and told her okay then dont be with me.Well...what else more.I was sobbing and telling her how i wish to have attention some 5mins out of 24hours phone call she said i should accept her the way she is and how heck she is..AND GOD DAMN IT HOW AM I TO BE IN SUCH A RELATIONSHIP?ARGH?!!MY BF DOESNT CALL ME EVERYDAY ..WHEN I CALL ALL SHE SAYS IS I WILL CALL YOU BACK BUT TO ONLY WAIT IN AVAIL!!I AM WATCHING RACE ON TV AS I TYPE!And i feel like i should be 16yrs old again carefree.Not get into any relationships!Just club and enjoy and hang out with friends!I wasted 3yrs plus only to get someone to not even bother about my existance?!as a gf i xpect some acknowledgment of my existance.For past 4 mths i been over practically everyday at her house and all we say to each other is hi!and its back to spending time with her family.Haiz!I dont mind doing that really dont but ultimately i am dating you ..not anyone else.And my smses also no response?!but she wans me to be loving.if u cant even respond to my lil lil efforts then what am i to do?i obviously have run out of attempts in making "Magic".And all she said was how do you expect me to show interest in someone that doesnt interest me?!see the outcome of my goodness to work things out led this out!Anywae i decided to focus on my body good body i wan hot body!I think its only time to work maself out and be and feel good and healthy!Skin is peeling due to eating rubbish!I am going to eat fruits and salad!Back to ma old routine baby!And i shall take this as a challange and make carol realise i can be quite capable!RMIT here i come?!i duno if they will approve of it !! but we shall see!!Or Murdoch see la wat happens!uNless i can get a very good job la oh well!!lets see what happens in the next chapter..but as far as i am concerened!i decided to focus time on having a good healthy bod!And yes i am serious!i am sad la but o well!This is wat happens when you cant talk to ur boyfriend!ck been such a pal sumone that i will still always be there for and thats about it!....and the rest continues!For now the past is history!And today is my future to bE!

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I am a gurl who wishes to try the impossible and make it right for me.Is Mass comm what i been missing out to get it right? Or would i be too caught up in the superfical world of communications?!

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